Scared to fall asleep? How to ease a fear of sleep
Do you fight to stay awake even when you are exhausted, because letting go feels unsafe? A fear of falling asleep often grows from nightmares, sleep paralysis, a health scare or a frightening night. It is more common than people think, and it can ease once your mind learns that sleep is safe again.
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What a fear of sleep feels like
You are tired all evening, then as bedtime gets closer something in you tightens. You stay up later than you mean to, scrolling or keeping the television on. When you do lie down, you catch yourself drifting and jolt back awake, as if falling asleep were a door you do not want to go through.
Some people are afraid of what might happen while they sleep, such as a nightmare, an episode of sleep paralysis or not waking up. Others cannot say exactly what they fear. They only know that letting go feels unsafe.
Why your mind can start to fear sleep
Falling asleep means giving up control for a while. Usually your brain does this without a second thought. But if sleep has been linked with something frightening, your brain starts treating bedtime as a risk and keeps you alert to protect you.
Common starting points include:
- Nightmares or night terrors that leave you dreading the next one
- Sleep paralysis, where you wake and briefly cannot move or speak
- A fear of not waking up, or of something happening to your heart or breathing
- A frightening event that once happened at night
- A long run of bad sleep that has made bedtime feel like a battle
The trouble is that fighting sleep makes you more tired and more on edge, and that can make bad dreams and sleep paralysis more likely. The fear and the poor sleep then feed each other.
Things to try tonight
Make the hour before bed as calm and predictable as you can. Dim the lights, put your phone away and do the same few things in the same order, so your body knows what is coming. A soft light in the room or a little background sound can help the room feel safer.
In bed, remind yourself that you do not have to fall asleep, only rest. Breathe out for longer than you breathe in, and let your jaw and shoulders go loose. If you wake from a bad dream, sit up, turn on a low light and notice the room around you before you settle again. If you are still wide awake after what feels like 20 minutes, get up, sit somewhere calm in low light, and go back when you feel sleepy.
Habits that help over the next few weeks
Keep the same bedtime and wake-up time every day. Regular sleep makes sleep paralysis less likely, and the NHS also suggests not sleeping on your back if it happens to you. Cut back on alcohol and caffeine in the evening, and avoid heavy meals late at night.
During the day, some people find it helps to write down a frightening dream and then rewrite the ending into something calmer, reading the new version a few times before bed. Keep the bedroom for sleep, so it becomes linked with rest rather than with lying awake on guard.
If you would like to understand this fear in more depth, there is a full guide to the fear of sleep on Phobia Guru.
When to see a GP
See your GP if poor sleep has lasted 3 months or more, if you have frequent nightmares or sleep paralysis, or if the fear is affecting your daily life. Go too if you snore loudly and someone has noticed you stop breathing, gasp or choke at night, as this can be a sign of sleep apnoea.
If your fear of sleep began after a frightening or traumatic experience, or you keep reliving it in dreams or flashbacks, talk to your GP about it, as there are treatments that can help. If you are struggling to cope, call Samaritans free on 116 123, day or night.
If sleep has started to feel unsafe
If you fight to stay awake even though you are exhausted, that is not silly or weak. Your mind is trying to protect you from something it has come to expect at night, and it has not yet learned that it can stand down.
What helps is building a new link between sleep and safety. With hypnosis we slow your breathing and loosen your muscles, then help you practise drifting off while feeling settled and in control. Many people find that the more often they experience letting go calmly, the less frightening bedtime becomes. It sits well alongside the steps on this page and any treatment your GP recommends.
I am Adam Cox, a clinical hypnotherapist with 17 years in practice and post-graduate qualifications in clinical hypnotherapy. Sleep sessions are among the most listened to on my podcast, The Hypnotist, which has been downloaded more than 20 million times.
Sleep hypnosis downloads for this
Recorded sessions from my store. Download once, keep them, and play them in bed with your phone on night mode.
Questions people ask
What is the fear of falling asleep called?
A strong fear of sleep is sometimes called somniphobia or hypnophobia. It is not a separate diagnosis in itself. It usually sits alongside anxiety, nightmares, sleep paralysis or worries about health, and it often eases when those are looked at.
Why am I scared to go to sleep?
Common reasons include bad dreams, sleep paralysis, a fear of not waking up, worry about your breathing or heart, or something frightening that once happened at night. Your mind links sleep with danger, so it keeps you on guard when you need to let go.
Is sleep paralysis dangerous?
The NHS describes sleep paralysis as scary but harmless. It can last up to several minutes. Regular sleep times, not sleeping on your back and cutting back on alcohol and caffeine can make it less likely. See your GP if it happens often or makes you afraid to sleep.
What if I am afraid I will stop breathing in my sleep?
If you snore loudly and someone has noticed you stop breathing, gasp or choke at night, see your GP. These can be signs of sleep apnoea, which can be tested for and treated. Getting it checked often eases the fear as well.
Can hypnosis help with a fear of sleep?
Hypnosis is designed to help you relax deeply and change how your mind reacts to bedtime. Many people find it helps sleep feel safer, although results vary. If your fear is linked to trauma or frequent nightmares, see your GP first, as other treatment may be needed alongside it.
Could hypnosis help your sleep?
Take my free sleep hypnosis suitability test. Tell me what keeps you awake, try two quick hypnosis experiments and get an honest answer, with your next step.
Want help to feel safe falling asleep?
If recordings are not enough on their own, we can work on the fear together. Start with a £49 consultation call over Zoom. We talk through what happens at bedtime and whether hypnotherapy is right for you, and the fee comes off your first session. If poor sleep has lasted 3 months or more, please see your GP too.
Further reading: NHS: Sleep paralysis · NHS: Sleep apnoea · NHS: PTSD · NHS: Insomnia