How to fall back asleep
Awake in the dark and wondering if you will get back to sleep at all? To fall back asleep, keep things dark and calm, leave the clock alone and let your body settle with slow breathing. If you are still awake after a while, get up briefly and come back when sleepy. Waking in the night is normal, and how you respond makes a big difference.
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Why you wake in the night
Everyone wakes a few times each night, usually between sleep cycles. Most of the time you drift straight off again and never remember it. Later in the night your sleep is lighter, so it is easier to come fully awake.
Common triggers include stress, alcohol, needing the toilet, a warm room, noise and hormone changes such as menopause. Once you are awake, frustration about being awake can keep you there.
It helps to remember that a brief waking does not mean the night is ruined. Treating it as a normal part of sleep makes it easier to drift off again.
Don’t check the clock
It is tempting to look at the time. But seeing 3:12 tends to start a mental countdown, and that worry wakes you up more. Research suggests clock watching can make it harder to get back to sleep, especially for people with insomnia.
Turn your clock away from the bed, and leave your phone out of reach. Not knowing the time is one less thing to think about.
Keep lights low, including after the toilet
Bright light tells your brain it is time to be awake. Even dim light in the night can lead to more waking. If you need to get back to sleep after the toilet, try to keep the trip as dark and quiet as you safely can.
A small night light in the hallway or bathroom lets you see without flooding your eyes. Avoid checking messages or the news on the way back. Get back into bed, settle into a comfortable position and start some slow breathing.
The 20 minute guide for getting up
If you can’t get back to sleep after about 20 minutes, get out of bed. Do not time it exactly. Just go by roughly how long it feels.
Go somewhere comfortable, keep the light soft and do something quiet. Reading a book, gentle stretching or listening to calm audio all work. When you feel sleepy again, go back to bed.
This sounds odd, but it is a core part of CBT for insomnia. Lying awake for hours in the night teaches your brain that bed is a place for being awake. Getting up breaks that link.
Quietening the mind in the middle of the night
At night small worries can feel huge. Remind yourself that 3am thinking is rarely your best thinking, and anything important can wait until morning.
Give your mind something gentle to do instead.
- Breathe in for four and out for six, a few rounds
- Relax each part of your body in turn, from your head down
- Picture a calm place in slow detail
- Try lying back and simply resting, without trying to sleep
- Jot down a nagging thought, then put the pad away
When it keeps happening
If you are awake for hours in the night most nights, look at your daytime habits too. Keep a regular wake time, get morning daylight and cut back on caffeine and alcohol later in the day.
See your GP if the problem lasts 3 months or more, or makes it hard to cope day to day. Mention loud snoring, gasping or pauses in your breathing, frequent trips to the toilet, or early waking with low mood. If you are struggling, Samaritans are there on 116 123.
If night waking has you on edge
If you wake and feel the frustration rise straight away, you are not alone. It is often that reaction, not the waking itself, that keeps people up for hours.
What helps is a calm routine for the middle of the night. With hypnosis you reach a deep, settled state, then rehearse waking in the dark and drifting off again, letting thoughts float past rather than following them. Many people find this makes those wakings feel far less stressful.
I am Adam Cox, a clinical hypnotherapist with 17 years in practice and post-graduate qualifications in clinical hypnotherapy. Sleep sessions are among the most listened to on my podcast, The Hypnotist, which has been downloaded more than 20 million times.
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Questions people ask
How do I fall back asleep in the middle of the night?
Keep the lights low, avoid the clock and your phone, and use slow breathing or a body scan. If you are still awake after about 20 minutes, get up for a while and return when sleepy.
Why can’t I get back to sleep after waking up?
Later in the night your sleep drive is weaker and your sleep is lighter. Worry, light and frustration then keep you alert. Staying calm and keeping things dark gives you the best chance.
Is it bad to lie awake for hours?
Lying awake for long stretches can train your brain to link bed with being awake. It usually helps to get up for a while instead. If it happens often, speak to your GP about support such as CBT for insomnia.
Should I use my phone if I can’t sleep?
It is best to leave it alone. The light and the content both tend to wake your brain up further. A book or calm audio with the screen off is a better choice.
How can I get back to sleep after going to the toilet?
Use a dim night light rather than the main light, and skip your phone. Get straight back into bed and start some slow breathing. If you go several times a night, it is worth mentioning to your GP.
Could hypnosis help your sleep?
Take my free sleep hypnosis suitability test. Tell me what keeps you awake, try two quick hypnosis experiments and get an honest answer, with your next step.
Want help getting back to sleep?
If recordings are not enough on their own, we can work on what is waking you together. Start with a £49 consultation call over Zoom. We talk through your nights and whether hypnotherapy is right for you, and the fee comes off your first session. If poor sleep has lasted 3 months or more, please see your GP too.
Further reading: Sleep Foundation: How to fall back asleep · NHS: Insomnia · Mayo Clinic: Insomnia diagnosis and treatment · NHS Every Mind Matters: Sleep