Sleep anxiety: when you dread going to bed
Does your stomach tighten as bedtime gets closer? Sleep anxiety is worry about sleep itself. You expect to lie awake, and that worry keeps your body alert. The harder you try to force sleep, the further away it seems. This loop can be broken, and here is how to start.
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What sleep anxiety feels like
Maybe the evening is fine until you think about bed. Then your chest tightens and you start counting the hours left. You might feel scared you won’t sleep, even when you are exhausted.
This is a real and common experience. It often starts after a run of bad nights, a stressful time at work or home, or a health worry. Over time the bed itself can start to feel like the problem.
Some people notice it most on Sunday nights or before a big day. Others feel it every evening, whatever is coming up next. Either way, the worry tends to arrive before you have even tried to sleep.
Sleep anxiety symptoms
Sleep anxiety symptoms can show up in both your body and your thoughts. You may notice some of these in the evening or while lying in bed.
- A sense of dread as bedtime gets closer
- Racing thoughts or replaying the day
- A fast heartbeat or quick, shallow breathing
- Tense muscles and restlessness
- Checking the time again and again
- Feeling tired but wired
- Relying on alcohol or sleep aids to get off to sleep
The vicious circle of trying hard to sleep
Sleep is one of the few things that gets harder the more effort you put in. When you lie there willing yourself to drop off, your brain treats sleep as a task to solve. That keeps you switched on.
Then the what ifs arrive. What if I don’t sleep, and how will I cope tomorrow? Worrying about not sleeping triggers the body’s stress response, which raises your heart rate and sharpens your attention. Sleep experts call this state hyperarousal.
Another bad night follows, and the dread grows. Mind describes how worry and poor sleep feed each other, each making the other worse. Understanding this circle is the first step to stepping out of it.
Things that can help tonight
Tonight, the goal is to lower the pressure rather than chase sleep. Let rest be enough for now.
- Write your worries down earlier in the evening, with one next step for each
- Dim the lights and put your phone in another room
- Try slow breathing, such as breathing in for four and out for six
- Tense and release each muscle group, from your shoulders to your feet
- Tell yourself you are just resting, and sleep can come when it is ready
- If you are still awake after a long while, get up and do something calm in low light
Building calmer nights over a few weeks
Keep the same wake time every day, including weekends. This steadies your body clock and builds a natural sleepiness by evening.
Use the bed only for sleep and intimacy, so your brain links it with rest rather than worry. If anxiety tends to flood in at night, set aside a short worry slot earlier in the day to think things through on paper.
Cut back on caffeine and alcohol later in the day. Both can make an anxious body more restless at night. These steps are part of CBT for insomnia, the main approach the NHS offers for longer-term sleep problems.
When to get support
Speak to your GP if anxiety and poor sleep have lasted 3 months or more, or are making daily life hard to manage. They can look at whether there is an anxiety problem, a sleep problem, or both, and what support fits.
If you are also feeling low, hopeless or having thoughts of harming yourself, please reach out today. Samaritans can be called free on 116 123 at any time. For any sleeping tablets or other medicine questions, talk to your GP or pharmacist.
If bedtime has started to feel like a test
If you have started to dread your own bed, watching the clock and counting the hours before the alarm, that is not you being dramatic. Your mind has learned to link bed with struggle, and the fear itself keeps you awake.
What helps is learning to feel calm in bed again. With hypnosis you are guided into a deep, easy calm, then rehearse going to bed in that same state, letting thoughts pass without grabbing hold of them. Many people find that once bedtime stops feeling like a test, it becomes easier to relax and let sleep come.
I am Adam Cox, a clinical hypnotherapist with 17 years in practice and post-graduate qualifications in clinical hypnotherapy. Sleep sessions are among the most listened to on my podcast, The Hypnotist, which has been downloaded more than 20 million times.
Sleep hypnosis downloads for this
Recorded sessions from my store. Download once, keep them, and play them in bed with your phone on night mode.
Questions people ask
Why do I get anxiety and can’t sleep at night?
At night there are fewer distractions, so worries move to the front of your mind. Your body’s stress response then keeps you alert. Slow breathing, writing worries down earlier and a calm wind down can help settle things.
How do I stop worrying about not sleeping?
Try to take the pressure off by treating time in bed as rest rather than a test. Keep a regular wake time so sleepiness builds naturally. If it carries on for months, your GP can talk you through support such as CBT for insomnia.
Is it normal to dread going to bed?
It is more common than many people realise, especially after a run of poor nights. The dread often fades as you rebuild trust that you can rest. Speak to your GP if it is affecting how you cope day to day.
What is the difference between sleep anxiety and insomnia?
Insomnia means regularly having trouble getting to sleep or staying asleep. Sleep anxiety is the worry and dread about sleep that often grows alongside it. The two feed each other, so easing one usually helps the other.
Can sleep anxiety go away on its own?
Sometimes it eases once a stressful period passes. Often it needs a few changes to habits and how you respond to lying awake. Getting help early can stop the circle from settling in.
Could hypnosis help your sleep?
Take my free sleep hypnosis suitability test. Tell me what keeps you awake, try two quick hypnosis experiments and get an honest answer, with your next step.
Want help to stop dreading bedtime?
If recordings are not enough on their own, we can work on what is keeping you awake together. Start with a £49 consultation call over Zoom. We talk through your nights and whether hypnotherapy is right for you, and the fee comes off your first session. If poor sleep has lasted 3 months or more, please see your GP too.
Further reading: Sleep Foundation: Anxiety and sleep · Mind: Sleep problems · NHS Every Mind Matters: Sleep · NHS: Insomnia