Keep having nightmares? How to have calmer nights
You wake with your heart pounding, the dream still clinging to you, and getting back to sleep feels impossible. Most people have nightmares now and then, but when they keep coming they can wear you down. There are simple things that help, and your mind can learn to dream more calmly again.
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What frequent nightmares do to your nights
A nightmare is a vivid, upsetting dream that wakes you up, usually in the second half of the night. You remember it clearly, and the feelings can stay with you into the next day.
When they happen often, you can start to dread going to sleep. You stay up later, sleep more lightly, wake more often, and feel shattered and on edge during the day. Being tired and stressed then makes the next nightmare more likely.
Why nightmares keep coming back
Dreams are partly how your mind sorts through feelings and events. When you are under strain, those feelings show up at night. Common triggers include:
- Stress, worry or a difficult period in your life
- A frightening or upsetting event, recent or long ago
- Not getting enough sleep, or very irregular sleep
- Alcohol, especially when it wears off in the early hours
- Some medicines, or stopping certain medicines
- Scary films, games or news close to bedtime
Sometimes the same dream returns again and again. That often happens because your mind keeps rehearsing it, and rehearsal makes it more likely to play again.
What to do when you wake from a nightmare
Sit up and turn on a low light. Put your feet on the floor and name a few things you can see and touch, so your mind knows where it is. Breathe out slowly for longer than you breathe in until your heart settles.
Get up for a few minutes if you need to, sip some water and do something calm and dull in low light. Avoid your phone. When you feel sleepy, go back to bed and picture a place where you feel safe and relaxed, in as much detail as you can.
Habits that help over the next few weeks
Keep the same bedtime and wake-up time every day, and give yourself a gentle last hour with no news, scary shows or work. Cut back on alcohol and late caffeine.
Many people find it helps to rewrite a recurring dream during the day. Write it down, then change the ending into something calmer or even funny, and read the new version a few times before bed. This is a simple version of an approach called imagery rehearsal, and it gives your mind a different story to rehearse.
When to see a GP
See your GP if nightmares happen most weeks, if they are affecting your daily life, or if they started after you changed or stopped a medicine. If your nightmares are about something frightening that really happened to you, or you also have flashbacks, talk to your GP, as there are treatments that can help. If you are struggling to cope, call Samaritans free on 116 123, day or night.
If bad dreams have made bedtime feel unsafe
If you put off sleep because you are afraid of what you might dream, that makes complete sense. Your mind is trying to protect you. It just has not yet learned that the night can be safe again.
What helps is giving your mind a calmer place to go. With hypnosis we settle your body, ease the tension you carry to bed, and help you practise falling asleep with peaceful images in mind. Many people find their nights feel calmer as their stress eases. It sits well alongside any treatment your GP recommends.
I am Adam Cox, a clinical hypnotherapist with 17 years in practice and post-graduate qualifications in clinical hypnotherapy. Sleep sessions are among the most listened to on my podcast, The Hypnotist, which has been downloaded more than 20 million times.
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Recorded sessions from my store. Download once, keep them, and play them in bed with your phone on night mode.
Questions people ask
Why do I keep having nightmares?
Common reasons include stress, a frightening event, lack of sleep, alcohol, some medicines and scary content close to bedtime. A dream that repeats often keeps coming back because your mind keeps rehearsing it.
How do I calm down after a nightmare?
Sit up, turn on a low light, put your feet on the floor and name a few things you can see and touch. Breathe out slowly until your heart settles, then go back to bed when you feel sleepy.
Can you stop a recurring nightmare?
Many people find it helps to write the dream down in the day, change the ending into something calmer, and read the new version before bed. If the dream is about something that really happened, talk to your GP.
When should I see a doctor about nightmares?
See your GP if nightmares happen most weeks, affect your daily life, started after a change in medicine, or are linked to a frightening event or flashbacks.
Can hypnosis help with nightmares?
Hypnosis is designed to help you relax deeply and go to sleep with calmer images in mind. Many people find their nights feel more peaceful, although results vary. If nightmares are linked to trauma, see your GP first.
Could hypnosis help your sleep?
Take my free sleep hypnosis suitability test. Tell me what keeps you awake, try two quick hypnosis experiments and get an honest answer, with your next step.
Want help to have calmer nights?
If recordings are not enough on their own, we can work on it together. Start with a £49 consultation call over Zoom. We talk through what happens at night and whether hypnotherapy is right for you, and the fee comes off your first session. If poor sleep has lasted 3 months or more, please see your GP too.
Further reading: NHS: Night terrors and nightmares · NHS: PTSD · NHS: Insomnia