Can’t sleep because of stress? How to switch off at night
Lying awake going over work, money or tomorrow’s to-do list? When you are stressed, your body stays on alert at bedtime, so sleep struggles to get a look in. This kind of sleeplessness often eases once the worry has somewhere else to go and your body has a chance to settle before bed.
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What stress at night feels like
You might be fine all evening, then the moment the light goes off your mind fills up. The email you have not answered. The bill that is due. The conversation you need to have tomorrow. You go over it, then over it again, while the clock keeps moving.
Many people feel tired and tense at the same time, with a tight chest, a clenched jaw or a heart that will not slow down. Then the worry about not sleeping joins in, and that keeps you awake too.
You are far from alone. In a 2018 YouGov survey of 4,619 UK adults for the Mental Health Foundation, 74% said they had felt so stressed at some point in the past year that they were overwhelmed or unable to cope.
Why stress keeps you awake
Stress switches on your body’s alarm system. It is there to keep you alert when something needs dealing with, which is useful in the day and unhelpful at 11pm. Your heart rate, breathing and thoughts all stay a notch too high for sleep.
Night-time also takes away the distractions. With nothing else to do, the mind goes back to whatever feels unfinished. The NHS lists stress, anxiety and worry among the common causes of insomnia. Typical triggers include:
- Work pressure, long hours or answering messages late
- Money worries, bills or debt
- Caring for children, parents or a partner
- Big changes, such as a move, a new job or a relationship ending
- Health worries, for you or someone close
Things to try tonight
Give the worries a place to land before bed. Write down what is on your mind and one small next step for each thing, even if the step is just to ring someone on Monday. Close the notebook and leave it outside the bedroom.
Spend the last half hour winding down, with dim lights, your phone away and something slow to do. In bed, breathe out for longer than you breathe in, for example in for 4 and out for 6. If you are still wide awake after what feels like 20 minutes, get up, sit somewhere calm in low light, and go back when you feel sleepy.
Habits that help over the next few weeks
Set a finish time for work and stick to it where you can, with a small routine that marks the end of the day, such as a walk or changing your clothes. Try a set worry time earlier in the evening: 15 minutes to go through what is bothering you, so it is not all saved up for bedtime.
Keep a regular wake-up time, get daylight in the morning and move your body in the day. Cut down on caffeine after midday and go easy on alcohol, which can help you drop off but tends to break up your sleep later in the night.
If work is the main thing you take to bed with you, my page on hypnotherapy for work stress looks at the daytime side of the same problem.
If money is the worry
Money stress is one of the hardest to switch off from, because at 2am it can feel as if there is nothing you can do. There is free help in the day. MoneyHelper, backed by the government, can point you to free and confidential debt advice online, by phone or near you. Taking one step in the day often makes the night quieter.
When to see a GP
See your GP if poor sleep has lasted 3 months or more, or if stress is making daily life hard to cope with. Go too if you feel low or hopeless, have lost interest in things, or have started relying on alcohol or sleeping tablets to get through the night.
If you are struggling to cope, call Samaritans free on 116 123, day or night.
If stress has taken over your nights
If you lie down exhausted and your mind starts up the moment your head touches the pillow, that is not a weakness. It is your alarm system doing its job at the wrong time, and telling yourself to stop thinking rarely turns it off.
What helps is calming your body first, then giving your mind something steadier to follow. With hypnosis we start with slower breathing and looser muscles, then help your attention move away from the day. Many people find they reach that calmer state more easily with practice, so sleep has more room to come. It sits well alongside the practical steps on this page, and alongside CBT-I if your GP suggests it.
I am Adam Cox, a clinical hypnotherapist with 17 years in practice and post-graduate qualifications in clinical hypnotherapy. Sleep sessions are among the most listened to on my podcast, The Hypnotist, which has been downloaded more than 20 million times.
Sleep hypnosis downloads for this
Recorded sessions from my store. Download once, keep them, and play them in bed with your phone on night mode.
Questions people ask
Can stress cause insomnia?
Yes. Stress is one of the most common causes of short-term insomnia, and sleep often settles again when the stress eases. If poor sleep has lasted 3 months or more, see your GP.
Why do I wake up in the night when I’m stressed?
Stress tends to make sleep lighter, so you are more likely to wake in the night or early morning. Once you are awake, your mind can pick up where it left off, which makes it harder to drift back.
How do I stop thinking about work in bed?
Finish work at a set time, write down tomorrow’s tasks before you stop, and keep work messages out of the bedroom. If the thoughts come back in bed, notice them and return to slow breathing rather than arguing with them.
Can hypnosis help with stress and sleep?
Hypnosis is designed to help you relax deeply and change where your attention goes at night. Many people find it makes switching off easier, although results vary and it works best alongside good sleep habits.
What if I can’t sleep the night before a stressful day?
One poor night is usually more manageable than it feels at 2am. Rest with your eyes closed, keep the room dark and cool, and avoid checking the time. Most people cope better the next day than they expect.
Could hypnosis help your sleep?
Take my free sleep hypnosis suitability test. Tell me what keeps you awake, try two quick hypnosis experiments and get an honest answer, with your next step.
Want help to switch off from stress at night?
If recordings are not enough on their own, we can work on what is keeping you awake together. Start with a £49 consultation call over Zoom. We talk through your nights and whether hypnotherapy is right for you, and the fee comes off your first session. If poor sleep has lasted 3 months or more, please see your GP too.
Further reading: NHS: Insomnia · NHS Every Mind Matters: Stress · Mental Health Foundation: Stressed nation survey (2018) · MoneyHelper: Money and wellbeing