Can’t sleep away from home? How to sleep in a hotel or new place
Lying awake in a hotel room, a friend’s spare bed or a new flat, listening to every sound? Sleeping badly in a strange place is common, especially on the first night. Part of your brain stays on watch until it knows you are safe, and a few simple steps can help it settle sooner.
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What a night away feels like
You are tired, the bed is comfortable enough, and still you lie there. The air conditioning clicks on. A door closes down the corridor. The room is too light, or too dark, and the pillow is not your pillow. By 3am you are checking the time and working out how much sleep you will get.
It can happen in a hotel on a work trip, at a relative’s house over Christmas, on holiday, in a new flat or in a hospital ward. Some people sleep anywhere. Others notice it every time they are away.
Why your brain keeps watch in a new place
Sleep researchers call it the first night effect. In a small study at Brown University in the US, published in 2016, one side of the brain stayed more alert during deep sleep on the first night in a new place. It reacted more to unusual sounds, and people woke more easily. On the second night the difference had gone.
So part of you is on guard until it has checked the place is safe. A few other things often add to it:
- New sounds, such as traffic, lifts, plumbing or other guests
- Light from street lamps, standby lights or the gap under the door
- A room that is warmer or drier than you are used to
- A different bed, pillow or duvet
- Travel, a late meal or a few drinks, and for long trips, a change of time zone
Things to try tonight
Make the room feel more like yours. Close the curtains fully, cover standby lights, set the room a little cool and put your things where you can find them in the dark. Earplugs, an eye mask or a fan or white noise app for steady background sound can stop small noises waking you.
Then follow your usual wind-down, as close to home as you can: the same bedtime, the same book or recording, your phone away. In bed, breathe out for longer than you breathe in, and let your jaw and shoulders go loose. If you are still wide awake after what feels like 20 minutes, get up, sit somewhere calm in low light, and go back when you feel sleepy.
Habits that help when you travel often
Take a small piece of home with you, such as your own pillowcase, eye mask or a familiar scent. Keep the same routine every night away, so your brain learns that this is what happens before sleep, wherever you are. Go easy on alcohol and caffeine, and avoid a big meal late in the evening.
If you have crossed time zones, switch to local time as soon as you arrive, get outside in daylight and try to sleep only at night. Jet lag usually eases within a few days as your body clock catches up.
When to see a GP
See your GP if poor sleep has lasted 3 months or more, or if you sleep badly at home as well as away. Go too if worry about sleeping away stops you travelling, staying with family or taking part in things you want to do.
If you are struggling to cope, call Samaritans free on 116 123, day or night.
If nights away always cost you sleep
If you dread hotel stays, put off visits or arrive home exhausted from every trip, that is not you being fussy. Your brain is doing its job of keeping watch, and it has not learned that it can stand down.
What helps is giving your mind a calm, familiar signal that it is safe to sleep, one you can take anywhere. With hypnosis we slow your breathing and loosen your muscles, then link that settled feeling to a simple routine you can repeat in any bed. Many people find that practising at home first makes the first night away easier. It sits well alongside the practical steps on this page.
I am Adam Cox, a clinical hypnotherapist with 17 years in practice and post-graduate qualifications in clinical hypnotherapy. Sleep sessions are among the most listened to on my podcast, The Hypnotist, which has been downloaded more than 20 million times.
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Questions people ask
Why can’t I sleep in a hotel?
A new room is full of things your brain has not checked yet: new sounds, light under the door, a different bed and pillow. Research suggests part of the brain stays more alert on the first night in a new place, so sleep is lighter and easier to break. It usually improves on the second night.
Why do I sleep badly on the first night somewhere new?
Sleep researchers call it the first night effect. In a 2016 study at Brown University, one side of the brain stayed more responsive to sounds during deep sleep on the first night, and this had gone by the second night. It seems to be a built-in way of keeping watch in an unfamiliar place.
How can I sleep better when I travel?
Take a few things from home, such as your own pillowcase or eye mask, and keep your usual bedtime routine. Make the room dark, cool and quiet, and use earplugs or a fan for background sound. Avoid a big meal or a lot of alcohol late in the evening.
How do I get over jet lag?
Switch to the local time as soon as you arrive, get outside in daylight and try to sleep only at night. Go easy on alcohol and caffeine. It usually eases within a few days.
Can hypnosis help me sleep away from home?
Hypnosis is designed to help you relax deeply and feel settled. A recording you know well can travel with you, so the same calm routine goes wherever you sleep. Many people find this helps, although results vary and it works best alongside good sleep habits.
Could hypnosis help your sleep?
Take my free sleep hypnosis suitability test. Tell me what keeps you awake, try two quick hypnosis experiments and get an honest answer, with your next step.
Want help to sleep well wherever you are?
If recordings are not enough on their own, we can work on what keeps you awake together. Start with a £49 consultation call over Zoom. We talk through your nights away and whether hypnotherapy is right for you, and the fee comes off your first session. If poor sleep has lasted 3 months or more, please see your GP too.
Further reading: Tamaki and others, Current Biology (2016): Night watch in one brain hemisphere during sleep associated with the first-night effect in humans · NHS: Jet lag · NHS Every Mind Matters: How to fall asleep faster and sleep better