Can’t sleep before a big day? How to rest the night before
Wedding, interview, early flight or hospital appointment tomorrow, and your mind will not settle? Nerves and excitement both keep your body on alert. One shorter night is usually far less of a problem than it feels at 2am, and a calm evening plan makes good sleep more likely.
Try a free deep sleep session
Leave your email and I will send you a free sleep hypnosis session to play in bed tonight, plus a few short emails with sleep tips and offers. Unsubscribe any time.
What the night before feels like
Everything is ready, or nearly. You get into bed early to be fresh tomorrow, and that is when your mind starts running through the day: the speech, the questions, the alarm, the traffic, the things that could go wrong.
Some of it is nerves and some of it is excitement, and your body treats them in much the same way. The harder you try to sleep, the more awake you feel, and then you start counting the hours left.
Why it is hard to sleep before something important
Before a big event your body’s alarm system turns up a notch. That helps you rise to the occasion on the day, but at bedtime it keeps your heart rate and thoughts too busy for sleep to take over.
A few things often make it worse:
- Going to bed much earlier than usual to get extra sleep
- Last-minute planning or messages late into the evening
- A celebration drink or rich meal the night before
- An unfamiliar bed, such as a hotel the night before a wedding or flight
- Checking the time and working out how much sleep is left
Things to try the night before
Get everything ready in the early evening: clothes, documents, travel plans and anything you need to take. Write down the last few things on your mind and the first thing you will do in the morning, then put the list away.
Go to bed at your normal time, not hours early. Keep the last hour calm, with dim lights and your phone away. In bed, breathe out for longer than you breathe in, and let your jaw and shoulders go loose. If you are still wide awake after what feels like 20 minutes, get up, sit somewhere calm in low light, and go back when you feel sleepy.
Habits that help in the days before
Keep your wake-up and bedtimes steady through the week before, and get daylight in the mornings. Cut down on caffeine after midday and go easy on alcohol, which can help you drop off but tends to break up sleep later in the night.
If the big day is a hospital appointment or operation, follow the instructions your hospital gives you about eating, drinking and medicines, and check with them before taking anything to help you sleep.
If nerves on the day itself are as much of a problem as the night before, my page on staying calm under pressure covers that part.
When to get more help
See your GP if poor sleep has lasted 3 months or more, or if worry about upcoming events is affecting your mood or daily life much of the time.
If you are struggling to cope, call Samaritans free on 116 123, day or night.
If big days keep costing you the night before
If you lie awake before every important day, that is not a sign something is wrong with you. Your mind is trying to protect something that matters, and it does not know when to stand down.
What helps is calming your body first, then giving your mind a steadier picture of tomorrow. With hypnosis we slow your breathing and loosen your muscles, then help you rehearse the day going well. Many people find that practising this in the evenings beforehand makes the last night feel easier. It sits well alongside a calm evening routine.
I am Adam Cox, a clinical hypnotherapist with 17 years in practice and post-graduate qualifications in clinical hypnotherapy. Sleep sessions are among the most listened to on my podcast, The Hypnotist, which has been downloaded more than 20 million times.
Sleep hypnosis downloads for this
Recorded sessions from my store. Download once, keep them, and play them in bed with your phone on night mode.
Questions people ask
How can I sleep the night before my wedding?
Keep the evening simple and calm, get everything ready early, and go to bed at your usual time rather than very early. Go easy on alcohol the night before, as it tends to break up sleep. If you wake early, rest with your eyes closed and remember that excitement on the day carries most people through.
I am nervous and can’t sleep before an interview. What helps?
Prepare earlier in the evening, not in bed. Lay out what you need, write down two or three points you want to make, then put the notes away. In bed, slow your breathing and let your mind rehearse the interview going calmly rather than going over what could go wrong.
What if I only sleep a few hours before a big day?
Try not to panic. One short night is usually more manageable than people expect, and the adrenaline of the day helps you focus. Eat breakfast, get some daylight and give yourself a little extra time.
Should I take something to help me sleep the night before surgery?
Ask your hospital team first. Follow their instructions about eating, drinking and medicines, and do not take sleeping tablets or herbal remedies unless they have agreed it.
Can hypnosis help me sleep before a big event?
Hypnosis is designed to help you relax deeply and settle a busy mind. Many people find listening in the evenings before a big event helps them switch off, although results vary and it works best alongside a calm routine.
Could hypnosis help your sleep?
Take my free sleep hypnosis suitability test. Tell me what keeps you awake, try two quick hypnosis experiments and get an honest answer, with your next step.
Want help to stay calm before big days?
If recordings are not enough on their own, we can work on your nerves and your sleep together. Start with a £49 consultation call over Zoom. We talk through what happens before your big days and whether hypnotherapy is right for you, and the fee comes off your first session. If poor sleep has lasted 3 months or more, please see your GP too.
Further reading: NHS Every Mind Matters: How to fall asleep faster and sleep better · NHS: Insomnia